Assessment Stress!!

Oh man, let me tell you, I'm getting properly stressed over assessment this term. God help me when I get to fourth year. I just finished writing my self-evaluation form for assessment which took me well over an hour. Grrr. Here's what I wrote on how I think I've done this term:

Before I discuss my progression in terms of the three main assessment categories I would like to clarify what has been happening with my practice this term. Initially, I started making work about a very traumatic event which happened to me throughout the summer. It was cathartic, but it was also a way in which I was able to investigate my interest in human behaviour, this time, analysing my own. However, in receiving feedback at tutorials and from peers, I felt a pressure to produce very objective work. This is when I produced the series of drawings of limbs in mass graves. With reflection I have realised that this was also a coping mechanism which I used to deal with the emotional turmoil I was experiencing at the time. A clinical and detached approach was a necessary motion which I had to go through to get to where I am now. After my group crits, the main point I took away from the feedback I received was that my work seemed tentative and unauthentic to myself. Then I had a magnificent tutorial with Victoria Morton, who encouraged me to produce what felt natural to me and pointed out the work in my sketchbooks and my drawings about my traumatic event were much more energetic and authentic. This is why my work has taken such an abrupt change of direction aesthetically, however the ideas being investigated remain the same.

Knowledge & Understanding:
My research this term has happened more through attending events, and seeing art in the flesh than through assimilation of images of work by other artists. I have tried in this term to grasp what is happening in the art scene in Glasgow by attending openings, running events with the project I am involved with, IRONBBRATZ, and by having informal crits with my peers. Part of the reason for this is that financially, photocopying hundreds of images has not been feasible, but I have done my best to do this with the resources I’ve had. But I’ve found the ‘attend and discuss’ approach to be a very accessible way for me to research and learn.
My continued and more immersive involvement with running and attending events has really boosted my awareness of contemporary practices, however I do feel I need to do more research into historical practices in order to better my practical and conceptual skills. This is something I strive to work on in the coming terms.

Studio Practice:
This term has been the most productive for me yet in my art school career which has improved my self-esteem quite significantly. I have tried to gather relevant source material to work from although a lot of it has been personal experience, memory, diaries and mementos. I am becoming more comfortable with the way in which I create work, and despite it not always being concrete, logical or consistent, getting to grips with this is giving me more food for thought in terms of generating work about my own behaviour. In focusing on my traumatic event and what that has triggered in me since it happened, I feel like my ideas are developing well. My discussion about the way in which people interact is becoming stronger, especially because my work has become more honest. My practical skills are developing further – this term I have started experimenting with oil paint – something I had rarely done in the past. I have also embraced my love for the scribble, dialect and text in my work and am thoroughly enjoying becoming more confident in working in a way which is natural to me. I spent a lot of time working on drawing as well, in addition to the study of composition and have learned a lot about both these aspects in this term.
My critical awareness of my own practice is what I’ve learned most about this term. I am finally understanding that everyone works in different ways. I am embracing my compulsive notions to work through the night – this is when I generate the most work. I have also come to terms with the fact that I work more effectively by doing things rather privately at first, in books, and then dismantling the books and displaying what was initially very private to me. I have become very interested in the notion of confession as a result of this discovery. As well all of this I’ve learned how to force myself to stay in the studio for longer (listening to music, and generally just making my space a more comfortable environment to spend time in).

Professional Practice:
My professional practice since working with the IRONBBRATZ project (since May 2009) has vastly improved. I’m learning so many valuable skills like consultation with artists and volunteers, promotion, presentation, making information clear and accessible, contact with official bodies like Glasgow City Council, the Market Gallery etc, documenting events through blogs & CV’s as well as working collaboratively with other groups such as DJ’s, Bands and events co-ordinators. Business stuff aside, I have improved on other skills like curation and installation of work. My team work skills have vastly improved in working not only with my two project partners but with everyone else involved. This is something I’ve transferred into my studio practice.
In being part of a project like this, as well as studying and working, my organisational skills have came on leaps and bounds since last year. There is always room for improvement in terms of organisation but I think my new found comfort in my creative process and the way in which I make work has helped a lot (i.e. generating art work through the night, being in the studio half the day, working the other half, then dealing IRONBBRATZ meetings in the early evening).
All in all, I’m a bit disappointed in the lateness of my revelation this term, but it was necessary for me to go through the motions I did to get where I am and now. I am now much more focused and driven to keep my practice developing and growing.


Yea, I know. Heavy eh? hehe.

G'night!